JAS

I dunno what to blog abt. So yup, good luck for EOY!(:

emo is good for health. JUS


Haha. Today i shall blog about yesterday and today. I shall blog about yesterday first.

Haha! Yesterday was funny man! I was supposed to go somewhere outside school to study with my friend Jas. (nickname) But i ended up going to marine parade library with Jas and her click. Yup. Then there was Ryan too. Haha. Sihui's stead. Okay. So the whole study thing was basically converted into helping Ryan and Sihui have an advance in their relationship and hold hands. Haha. So we left school at about 1.15pm carrying all our heavy books with us to the library. When we were at the library, we walked around trying to find a spot to sit and study. It wasnt easy, coz there were 8 of us. So we ended up splitting ourselves. All of us placed our bags at the young people section. Then we studied for a short while before going for lunch. Erina, Merilyn and Sherting went for lunch first. I also dunno where there went for lunch la, coz we didnt see them. But it should be in Parkway. Yup. Then after a while, Sihui, Ryan, Xinyi, Jasmine and me went for lunch. Yea. Xinyi, Jasmine and I were walking in front while Sihui and Ryan were walking behind and talking.. Haha. So we went to the foodcourt and had lunch. Sihui and Ryan were only 2weeks into the relationship, so they were still a bit paiseh about some stuff i think. Haha.
So all of us bought our food and drinks and Ryan went to buy food for Sihui. But the thing is Sihui refuses to eat! Erm. She did eat a bit la. But she's very paiseh too i guess. Then Ryan like dumb dumb one.. Dunno what to do and how to prompt her to eat. So we just sat there watching to two of them talking and Ryan trying to get Sihui to eat. Haha.
Then on the way back to the library, Ryan finally grabbed onto Sihui's hand while crossing the traffic light! Haha! So they walked like that all the way back to the library. Then when we went back to the library, everyone was basically talking about Sihui and Ryan's progress. Haha. Yup. So that was yesterday basically.
Haiz. Parents coming home soon. So cant blog anymore.

(P.S. Hey Jas, if you read my blog later and are free, you may help me to continue with the rest of the post. Thanks!) Hmm..what should i blog about? Okay. The past few days. I was emo again for the past few days. Just when i thought i had got over my emoness last week, it all came again starting on Monday.
Monday was a crap day la. I was feeling damn emo over dunno what stupid things. I guess the first reason was when i got back my physics quiz back. I got 1/10. What the hell?! Although it may just be a quiz, it really made me feel demoralised. Then i began to think back.. Think about the recent 'A' math level test that i got 0/25. That is another thing that made me damn emo. Lousy results making me feel that i'm useless and stupid. Anyway, yup. That was the initial reason. Then i began to see stuff and then i think think think about stuff then make me even more emo.
Then after school, there was 'A' math remedial. I didnt want to go for the remedial coz i had no mood for lessons at all. But Benny went, so i just tagged along. During the one hour plus remedial, other students were busy trying out the questions, while i was emoing. So i just wasted the one hour by just sitting down and not doing anything. People finished 7 questions, while i havent even started on one.. Yup. Then after the remedial, i went to play basketball with Benny and some of my sec1 friends. I just couldn't shoot properly la. I missed so many shots. Again, i felt very useless. Then i was like scolding everyone when i was playing bball. Dunno why la.
After bball, Benny, Yong Xi and I went to Lucky Bread again as usual. When i went there, i still was kinda emo and easily agitated over dunno what la. I bought my bubble tea and just when i was about to sit down, i guessed i applied too much pressure on the cup and it just burst! Damn. The bubble tea just splat out on Yong Xi and me! Yup. Then for the rest of the time when i was at Lucky Bread, i was just scolding Benny and Yong Xi for almost everything that they said. Yup. They knew that something wasnt right about me.
So i didnt want to go home actually. But i had no choice or else my parents would be very mad at me. My curfew was to reach home by 7pm actually. I entered my condo premises slightly over 7pm, but i did not go home straight. I was talking over the phone to my friend. Yup. Coz i felt damn emo and down and wanted to talk. So i went to another block far away from mine and went to the highest floor to talk. Talk talk talk till about 8plus. Then i went home coz i received an sms from my sis saying that my mom is very worried about me. Yup. Then i went home but it was quiet. I was emo, so i didnt talk to anyone and just did my stuff quietly and went to bed after that. Didnt have any scolding coz maybe my mom was too emo to scold? By the way, she cried. I'm really sorry to my mom for making her cry.
Then the next day, i arranged with my friend (the one who i talked to on the phone) to meet in school early in the morning to talk. Yup. We went to her 'emo spot' to talk. After the talk i did feel slighly better. So i went for my lessons trying to stay focus. Trying. Yup. But after a few hours of class, i felt kinda exhausted liao. Haiz.. Then the same thing la. Went to Lucky Bread with the same people and talk..
Then i arrived home like 5mins late. I wanted to apologize to her but when i did so, she started scolding me and blah blah. All i wanted to do was apologize coz i wanted some peace to myself. But my mom's nagging was just so unbearable. So i just went to a dark corner of my room to emo with all the lights off. Yup. So i just sat like that for almost an hour and i felt very sleepy. So i just went to bed.
Hmm..then this morning, i met up in the morning with the same friend who i talked to the day before to talk again. Yup. At first, i was feeling like how i was on Monday. But after some councilling and stuff and then i crapped around with friends, i felt better le. Okay la. I shall try not to emo le and carry out my mission of cheering up 3 people!

(P.S. Erm. Hey 'girl who i talked about' if you dont mind me revealing your name or you want to have a nickname, tell me. Coz it's kinda dumb typing 'some friend' everytime. People will be like huh? Which friend. LOL.) Haha! Emo no more man! So people out there who call me Emo Kia, better think first before you call me that! Haha. Today was great. I went to the National Library to study with a friend.Yup. From morning till almost 6pm i think?? LOL. But it wasn't all studying. There was chit-chat and talking too la. Slacking was included too of course.. Haha. Yea. I enjoyed my role of being your teacher and teaching you stuff. Coz it did act as a form of revision for me too. Just hope that you weren't bored by what i thought you. Hope that it comes in useful! Haha. And yup. Remember to update me on your results when you get it okay? Haha. Yea. I was kinda high spirited until i checked something up on the net again. I don't know what kinda feeling it is. Am i emo again? LOL. Why must i let such a small problem bother me? I've already found happiness, so i don't wish to be brought back to the world of misery. It's a pain and a torture. Maybe I'm just thinking too much. Yea, I'll try not to think of anything. So, message of the day, "Hey friends, I'm extremely vulnerable and I'll just break apart anytime. I just hope to get the support of some of you and just comfort me when i need it. Haha. Thanks."
P.S (Hey, if you read this post and it's you who went out with me, i wont disclose your name okay? Don't wanna get you into trouble. Haha.) "What is joy? What is happiness? What is hope? Where is the hope? You hope so it can be destroyed.. Sink and be one with darkness in your heart." These is one of Benny's messages to me. I'm kinda confused myself and i guess that i'm begining to get influenced and embrace the darkness. I'm not emo or anything. I think i'm in the same kinda helpless situation that Benny is in. I need attention.
I guess the cause of all my actions is to get attention. Now i've got almost all the attention. Attention from my parents, attention from my teachers, attention from the level head, adn attention from the principal. All the attention in a wrong way. I guess i must find the light to lead me out of the darkness.
I need concern. That's all. Hmm..i really dont know what to say. Yea, i'm forgiven. But why is there still a feeling of being uneasy? I felt like an idiot moron yesterday night and i felt so damn useless. Why? Maybe it's coz i have that feeling of uncertainty after not talking with someone for very long? Or maybe it's coz i was kinda shocked? I'm not too sure myself.
Althought i may not be treasured as your best friend, you ARE my best friend. People may have two or three best friends, but i only reserve that spot for one person. I'm that kinda person who just find it difficult to make new friends. I'm friendly, but haiz.. Maybe coz i'm shy?? Haha. Cant blog le.