I shouldn't have. I really shouldn't have did it. Sometimes i wonder what's up with me. I once promised myself to bury matters of the heart deep down inside and never open up. I tried my very best and was determined to do it, but some unforeseen circumstances forbid me to do so. I tried so hard to suppress the feelings i had, tried so hard to keep my cool, but i just cant accept the recent turn of events. Maybe it's just me being over sensitive or a big misunderstanding, but whatever it is i'm already beginning to regret my actions.


I never got into a relationship before because i never trusted others. I couldn't be myself when i'm with them and i just can't accept rejection. I would rather choose to stay single than ruin the friendship and get rejected. I never had the courage to confess my feelings for fear that the friendship would come to an end. Perhaps if i waited longer and tried hard enough to suppress my feelings, all would fade away after some time.



I've come this far after so many years of school life, seen many of my friends getting in and out of relationships and i've always told myself that i would do my best to make my first relationship a good one. I kept telling myself that if i get into a relationship, i would devote myself to the girl wholeheartedly . My friends always see me as the 'Mr Nice Guy' and i always try all means to bring my friends happiness. I wouldn't mind even if it would be at the expense of sacrificing some of my sleep, time and money. I really dont want anyone to fall into the depths of emptiness that i used to be. It was so bad to the extend that i had to see a councillor so i feel that i can relate well to those who are facing problems. Whatever problems they may be, whether it's in your studies, work stress or relationship tensions, i always give others a listening ear. I've heard many different stories throughout the years and i'm really proud of myself for being able to help others getting out of the depths of darkness.



However this time round, i'm really utterly disappointed in myself. I can't even help myself now, so i'm really in no position to help others anymore. I thought that if i were to just learn from other's past failures and don't make similar mistakes, i would be fine. Sadly, this just doesn't seem to work out. It was all wishful thinking on my part.



I don't even have confidence in myself, so how can i fend for others? I won't fall into the depths of unhappiness again so you don't have to worry. Instead, i'll lead a happier life and continue to shower care and concern to all my friends- in the right way this time.