I was so close to success this time, but why did i failed? Did i do something wrong or is it just coz you dont think i'm good enough. Have i not showed you enough love or care? Even if all my family members and friends abandon me, i still have you. I've been so in love with you that you have already became a part of me. Losing you is like ripping a part of me away.


Didn't you say that you wanted to face the next 8 years and more after that with me? Didn't you say that my heart was yours and your heart was mine? I could tell that you really loved me as much as i did for you, but why the sudden change of events? You just called me baby at 8plus last night. Then 2hours later, you sent me the sms saying that you are still unable to accept me. I'm alright with you telling me this, but why do you ask whether we can not meet that often anymore? It really breaks my heart to hear that and i haven't been able to sleep last night. I kept looking at my phone and seeing whether you would reply my long sms that i sent you after you went to bed.


I guess my long sms said everything and how i felt about you. I really hope to meet up with you and talk to you face to face. As for now, i'll wait for your reply then. It has been 10hours and 19mins and i'm still waiting..




"You are the first girl who i have invested so much feelings into. I've never sent a girl to school and back home everyday. I've never waited for a girl as long as 6hours. I've never loved a girl so much till i'm willing to do everything and even give up going home and sleeping at the void decks. I've even cut off almost all connections with other girls coz i dont want to upset you.


I know that the sacrifices that i have made may not be enough or that i may not have shown you enough love and care. But i'm really working hard everyday to give you the best that i can and to make sure you get what you want.I care so much for you, that i even extend the care to your family members.


There are still so many things to do together and so many places that i want to bring you to. I'm always trying to do and give what other guys cant give you and i'm always trying to make you smile.

I'll lend you my jacket without you saying anything everytime you're cold. I'll help you to carry your bag when we're on our dates without complaining. I breathe warm air into your hands and give you warmth whenevr you feel cold. You've become a part of me and without you, i'm incomplete.


Although i may get upset with you at times, it's your love that always keeps me going. I really hope that you would continue to stay by my side though i know you still dont feel secure enough to enter into a relationship with me.


It's alright for me to wait, but please dont just cut off connections with me and throw me aside. Didnt you say that my heart is yours and your heart is mine? Yea, you're right. I'm yours. ♥"

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Hello, to all Justin readers!
Guigui here, the Candysluv of hes. (luv)

1stly,
Happy 44th Birthday, Singapore!
P/S: I wanna see Firework :(

As for you info, why im blogging for him,
is because,
hes laptop had been confiscated for days alrdy, so hes unable to blog or online. And he just got back hes SIM card today! ^^

So currently now,
hes having a family outing , at ION Orchard *Smile*
And im message-ing with him now! :)

08 August '09.
Met up with Justin, and trained to town for a walk.
P/S: Superb sorry for my attitude and short-tempered that I had shown you yesterday. *Sad*
Anyw, due to my temper, and bad mood. So, we bused back to Justin's house, and prepared some food for pinic at ecp.
We enjoy the wind so much, although its a superb long walk.
And this silly Justin, ran as fast as he could, just to buy a ice-cream for me.
Thanks for all the things you had done for me. (luv)
Aftermath, keep everything and walked back to hes house and put those stuff.
Its midnight alrdy, and luckly we catch until the last bus.
He insisted to sent me home at the late night.
In the end, he get scolded, and no bus to go back alrdy.
So, he had to camp around. *Sad*
Around midnight 4am,
I ran out of house and just to look for him. But I can't see any sight of him!
So superb worried, cause he didn't even pick up my call.
And finally today morning, he called me! *Happy*

Guigui superb looking forward for next saturday!
Cause im gonna plan for another pinic with, Justin and hes sliblings :)

Love can be painful, but love can be bliss as well.

I'm still learning how to love everyday. How to love my family, my friends and the special one in my heart. I may have expressed my love in the wrong way last time, but i'm trying to work on it and improve everyday.


Sometimes i wonder to myself what is the real meaning of love. Do you just say that you love somebody when you just have a crush on the person? Nah, i've never actually used the word love on a particular girl all along coz i admit that it just stops at the word 'like'. When you like someone, you may have a change of heart after awhile. But when you really love someone, you give them what is best for them no matter whether you like it or not, and their safety is of your concern.


I guess i'm kinda going through this phase now. I'm gradually trying to seek out love and to show love. Another simple example is my family. I've been showering love on my siblings, but what about my parents? I do admit that i've neglected them at times and have been stubborn by not listening to their advice. Maybe i've come to the realisation these few days that i may really regret it if they are no longer around one day. It wont be of any use even if i cry or swear.


Yea, so back to the main point. What is the meaning of love?
I've searched for the definition of the word 'love', and it means to show tender, passionate affection for another person. Have i done it or have i not? I'm still working on it everyday. :)
___________________________________________________________________ Worrying.

Worrying certainly isn't a good thing, but i've lots of reasons to worry about these few day! I shall rate my top 3 worries then.

First up, it's my sis that i'm worrying about. Hell seem to have broke loose after my parents have left for a holiday. Even my sis who is usually well behaved and studious at home has turned wild the moment my parents left! I've only seen her for 5mins for the past 48hours and she hasn't been picking up my phone calls. Although she sent me an sms saying that she would be staying over at her friend's house for the next few nights, i can't help but worry coz she's my sister and if anything happens, i would be held responsible!


Next up, it's my brother. I can't help but worry for him though he has been a good boy and stayed at home. I'm more worried about his addiction to his online game! He has been borrowing my laptop and spent many many hours playing his game. And although it's my laptop, i've been lending it to him and even his usage of the laptop is more than me! I'm worried that his eyesight would deteriorate too. Haha.

Lastly, i'm worried about JiaJia! She has been telling me that she doesn't want to go to school anymore coz of some issue that she had with her classmates and this may lead to a fight. Seems that her classmates are kinda ruthless and they have taken action against her before. So i'e tried to comfort her and still persuaded her to go to school because her parents would worry and may scold her if she doesn't attend school. I've given her the assurance too and promised her that i would wait outside her school till her day of school ends. I'll go to her help if necessary.


Okay, guess it's enough of worrying for me now! Worrying too much would give me wrinkles and make me older! Haha!

It's a Monday, the first weekday of a week, so happy schooling friends! :)
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Supper that Jacelyn made for me.

(A bottle of ice water, coffee, 4 slices of bread with different fillings, 2 packets of biscuits and your lovely Babystitch!)

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I can't deny it.


I can't deny the fact that my feelings for you is getting stronger each day no matter what you may have done or said to me. You may have said things that have hurt me, but deep down inside, i know you really care a lot about me. My heart aches to see you cry for me and every drop of tears is like a knife stabbing me. Yea, i shall finally admit that tears did roll down my cheeks when i was chatting with you over the phone last night. But it wasn't because i was sad or disappointed. It was because i was really grateful to you for telling me how you really felt and being honest with me.


I would have just given up on any other girl if she had said the similar things. But as for you, there seem to be an unknown source of strength that's motivating me and telling me not to give up. It has been these few days that i've realised that i really like you a lot. As the saying goes, absence makes the heart grow fonder. So through these few days of not seeing you, i've realised that my appetite has gone worse if i haven't talked to you, and my eyes would be glued to my handphone waiting for every sms reply from you.


After saying so much, it's not that i want you to sympathize with me or feel guilty towards me so you try to make amends or treat me better. I just wanted an avenue to pour out how i feel. And on a random note, you know what? I really want to catch the fireworks with you tonight. :)



(P.S. Thanks for being the special somebody in my heart and filling up the emptiness from within.)

Candyluv.

___________________________________________________________________ Life has been sweet.

Throughout my 17years of existence, i've never come across someone who is as dedicated, as caring and as sweet as you.

I've once told myself that if a girl who really cares for me appears in front of me one day, i would hold her tight and not let her go. It's not that i've gone crazy over the girl. It's just that i don't want such an opportunity to go by. Such opportunities may come once in a lifetime, and may never come again.


So, back to the story where i've met my match. If you ask for my honest opinion, she isn't someone who is exceptionally pretty or exceptionally smart. What moved me the most was what she did for me that no other girl have ever done. She has done so much for me that she has captivated my heart and i told myself that i couldn't miss such a chance.

Yes, i had doubts initially about whether to take things a step further or not. It seems that i've taken things to the point where both of us are attracted to each other. And if you ask me whether i'm going to take the big step into my first relationship? Hmm I really don't want to see such a nice girl taken away from me or such a chance to pass. But i can't possibly rush things coz what matters most is what she wants. If i'm really gonna care for the other person's feelings, i gotta respect her decision no matter what it is.


Though after saying all these, i know that i really want to be that special somebody deep down in my heart. This has been the first time that i've felt so confident and really wanted something really badly. I really don't wish to look back a few years later to regret..

(P.S. I want to be that special somebody.
Someone who makes you feel secure
And to make you smile. )
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